Reason 16: Rice Paddies

Me: What kind of things affect climate?

Group of students: We think rice paddies.

Me: Rice Paddies? Like where they grow rice? Are you serious?

Group of student: Yes, Google said rice paddies affect climate.

Hand + Forehead

Reason 15: Reflections

For each unit in our class my students have to write a unit reflection for their learning. I received a unit reflection today so titled:

Astrology Unit Reflection

Reason 14: Science...taken on faith?

Picture this little girl. She is quiet. Her features are petite. When she speaks, it is almost a mousy squeak. And she is absolutely precious. She is also about as country as a collard green. Ok, now that you have her in your mind, here's a conversation between she and I today.

Student: I don't believe in science.

Me: That's ok hunny. Science still believes in you.

Reason 13: What they don't say...

So this post is a little different from the normal funny stuff my kids say. This is one of those times where my kids teach me a little more than I teach them.

Yesterday I was having a rough day. It was the first full week of school, and between tennis practice, late suppers, and early mornings I was super exhausted. I was cranky during my planning period, and I usually try to shake it off before I get to class. Today, I just couldn't get past the bad mood.

I'm in class, and I am trying feverishly to get all the computers and chargers packed up in the laptop cart. My boys are being good, and just talking and waiting for me to say they can leave. They know they can't leave until I count all the computers and chargers.

So, there I am, down on my hands and knees quietly grumbling about how sloppy the chargers were put up. I was tossing a few of the really knotted chargers out on the floor behind me so I could rewind them before putting them up again. It might have been 4 or 5 chargers. All the while I am grumbling, complaining, and just being a pill.

Then I was served a big heaping helping of humility. While I was grumbling and tossing chargers behind me, one of my guys was quietly picking them up and rewinding them. While all the other guys were hanging out and talking, this one guy was demonstrating what having a heart of service really looks like. In fact, I didn't even know he had done this until I turned around to get my tangled mess of chargers and they were all on the desk beside me. Neat. Tidy. And wrapped in humility. I asked who did it, and one guy standing near by pointed to the guy who did it. He didn't ask for reward, acknowledgement, or praise.

I was given a wonderful lesson that day, and it is one that I will not soon forget.

Reason 12: What do we get...

Our first unit is about astronomy. So we were talking about Earth's rotation and revolution. Here's what followed in a class discussion:

Me: What does rotation give us?

Student: Day and night.

Me: Good! Ok, what does revolution give us?

Student: WAR!!!!

Laughter erupts, and ten minutes late I pick myself up off the floor. Only Freshmen boys...

Reason 11: Feels like a butt cheek

I have a colleague who likes to rile the kids up before they get to me. He tells them very interesting stories, which they of course relay to me.I never really got the gist of the story he told, but here's the relay. I think it might have been how a man relays feeling sick to a woman...or something like that.

Student: "He said that when he feels bad he feels like a butt cheek. And he tells his wife that his ass...."

*Student turns red, covers mouth, and realizes that what was supposed to be ASKS...turned into something way different*

Ah that moment when the swear word comes out unintentionally from a kid who doesn't say swear words. Nice.

Reason 10: Renewable or not?

Me: "So where do we get natural gas?"

Student: "The ground."

Me: "Ok, but is that the only place we get it?"

Student: *looking kind of sheepish* "No. We get it from cows."

Me: "What do you mean?"

*Smiling a knowing smile*

Student: "When they pass gas."

*giggles erupt in the class*

Student: "Wait! Then why is this non-renewable? We'll never run out of farts as long as we have men!"

Sorry men, as long as we have you we'll never run out of natural gas.

Reason 9: Logic

I have a student that I (and most of the students and teachers at our school) call Mongo. If you haven't seen Blazing Saddles, go watch it for this reference. Mongo is about 6'7", and he just towers over me. He's got a way of missing the forest for the trees. But one day in class we got a little logic out of Mongo.

Me: " Ok, well if you make your own food you are a....."

Mongo: "Plant."

Me: "And if you wanted to go to the grocery store and buy plants to eat, what section would you go to?"

Mongo: "The frozen food."

*grumble*

Me: "Not exactly, try the fresh plants."

Mongo: "Produce"

Me: "Ok good! And what do we call plants that produce their own food?"

Mongo: "Plants"

*frustrated grumble, as hands begin to go up in class*

Me: " Put your hands down, he's going to get this. Ok, Mongo. If I am a person who runs, then I am a..."

Mongo: "A runner"

Me: "Good, and if I am a plant who produces, then I am a ...."

Mongo: "Produce...er"

*Shouts of joy and loud applause resound in my classroom, as one student sums up the situation.*

Student: "It's a miracle!!! Mongo used logic!!!"

*More applause*

So it came to be known as The Day Mongo Used Logic

Reason 8: Word Associations

Me: Ok, so to find some key words, we could do a word association. I'll say a word, and you say the first word that comes to your mind. Ready? Political.

Student: Suicide!!!

Can't really fault them for this one.

Reason 7: Don't Resort to Cannibalism

I have a typical valediction as I am leaving the room for any reason, and it looks something like this:

Me: "Don't get crazy, set the room on fire or resort to cannibalism."

*Students grin with a mischievous look.*

As I return to the room 3 minutes later, I am greeted by standing applause, so naturally I take a bow.

Me: "What's this for?"

Student: "Well you told us not to resort to cannibalism, so logically we applaud that."

*Ah yes, the logic of a teenager.*

Reason 6: How Teenage Girls Relate to Chemistry

Me: "Ok, so here are 3 compounds you might know."

*Writing NaCl, H2O and SiO2 on the white board*

Me: " Does anyone know what the first one is?"

Student: "It's table salt."

Me: "Good! What about the second one?"

Student: "Water!"

Me: "Yep, and the last one is a little tricky, has anyone ever seen this one before?"

*Silence as student squint and wrinkle their brows in thought*

Me: "It's silicon dioxide, it makes up quartz. They use it in glass making, and it's a big component of sand."

*More silence as this idea sinks in*

Student: "So basically, it's the chemical composition of the beach, right?"

Me: "Well...I guess it is...."

*Only in a girls high school class*

Reason 5: What's a....???

Me: "You know, thinking behooves us."

Student: "What's a bahoovah?"

Me: "A what?"

Student: "You said 'thinking bahoovah's.' What's a bahoovah?"

Me: "Oh my..."

Reason 4: Living?

Me:  
Ok, let's split up our two categories of science, living and non-living, into pieces. We'll start with living. What's something that could go under living?

Student:

ROCKS!!!!

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