Reason 10: Renewable or not?

Me: "So where do we get natural gas?"

Student: "The ground."

Me: "Ok, but is that the only place we get it?"

Student: *looking kind of sheepish* "No. We get it from cows."

Me: "What do you mean?"

*Smiling a knowing smile*

Student: "When they pass gas."

*giggles erupt in the class*

Student: "Wait! Then why is this non-renewable? We'll never run out of farts as long as we have men!"

Sorry men, as long as we have you we'll never run out of natural gas.

Reason 9: Logic

I have a student that I (and most of the students and teachers at our school) call Mongo. If you haven't seen Blazing Saddles, go watch it for this reference. Mongo is about 6'7", and he just towers over me. He's got a way of missing the forest for the trees. But one day in class we got a little logic out of Mongo.

Me: " Ok, well if you make your own food you are a....."

Mongo: "Plant."

Me: "And if you wanted to go to the grocery store and buy plants to eat, what section would you go to?"

Mongo: "The frozen food."

*grumble*

Me: "Not exactly, try the fresh plants."

Mongo: "Produce"

Me: "Ok good! And what do we call plants that produce their own food?"

Mongo: "Plants"

*frustrated grumble, as hands begin to go up in class*

Me: " Put your hands down, he's going to get this. Ok, Mongo. If I am a person who runs, then I am a..."

Mongo: "A runner"

Me: "Good, and if I am a plant who produces, then I am a ...."

Mongo: "Produce...er"

*Shouts of joy and loud applause resound in my classroom, as one student sums up the situation.*

Student: "It's a miracle!!! Mongo used logic!!!"

*More applause*

So it came to be known as The Day Mongo Used Logic